It’s almost Halloween and something weird is happening to me. I have a Christmas carol stuck in my head. Does this happen to you?! I want my Halloween. I love Halloween. All the spookies and creepies. You’re supposed to look at spiders and smile. Watch ‘It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!’. Lick your lips at all the candy (after having it all irradiated at the local hospital just to be on the safe side). There is a chill in the air and it’s chased away by apple cider and a ginger snap.
Then there is the Costume Ritual. Standing in the party store debating what you will be this year! Oh man do I love that. I always stare at the plastic machetes and think how cool MY costume would be with a real one. Senses return…jail would suck. Real world. Maybe I’ll be a pimp. Or a pirate (arr). Or maybe I can choose between the last 2 costumes on the shelf. A princess of the night or a game of beer pong? That is a winless-winless no matter which way I go. There is that song in my head again.
Well…there are a lot of accessories staring at me. Maybe I can take the tiara, Harry Potter wand, and the plastic ball and chain and whip up an award winning costume. Or maybe I can squeeze into that child sized scream outfit…the one with the mask that actually screams. Oh what fun it is to…
Wait…Halloween!!! I have a lot of time for mistletoe and holly. It is time to get serious. What am I going to be for Halloween?
I refuse to be Beer Pong. No one will throw their balls at me all night. Ain’t happening. I refuse to be a Princess of the Night. It will take too long to shave my legs. And armpits. And back. No. There has got to be a happy costume place for me.
I’ve gotta concentrate and hurry my thoughts past that damned Rudolph. What will I be!? One year I didn’t bother with a costume…well, I did tell everyone that I was dressed as a reality tv star. Served it’s purpose. But this year…something special. I loathe the ‘Doctor’/'Nurse’ outfits. Wow. I personally have been a ‘doctor’. It is something that requires little thought. I think it has to insult all the actual doctors and nurses out there. Another blog…let’s move along.
I have a convict outfit. Nah. Been done. I could really be a pimp in my lavendar suit. Just don’t ask. I was Ghandi one year before the expansion. I could pull out the old sheets…and all of the hair on my fat head.
This is getting ridiculous. What in the hell am I going to be for Halloween?!
That’s when it hits me. I have a costume. I get home. Look for the boxes. Yup. Right where I thought it was.
So what are you going to be for Halloween? If you see me, you’ll know me right away. I’ll be the little elf on the left of the reindeer.
Sigh.
